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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28174296">When your best friend catches you polishing your lightsaber</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinklytea/pseuds/tinklytea'>tinklytea</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>GWA (r/gonewildaudio), Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Romance, blowjob, handjob, nerdy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:01:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,617</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28174296</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinklytea/pseuds/tinklytea</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>*puts on Mandalorian helmet* This is the way.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>When your best friend catches you polishing your lightsaber</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[F4M][script offer] When your best friend catches you polishing your lightsaber ;D [humor][friends to lovers][romance][nerdy][handjob][blowjob]</p><p>WELL, HELLO THERE!</p><p>Oh no, no, no, don't even try to pull your pants back up! Or try to close that browser window. Hands on your dick where I can see them, buddy!</p><p>What am I doing? What are YOU doing? What kind of exhibitionist doesn't even close their bedroom door properly before they start jerking off?</p><p>Oh, you didn't think anyone else was going to come in? What if a robber had broken into your home, and decided to steal your innocence as well as your TV, huh? You wouldn't know something was wrong until it was too late, all because your eyes were glued to your screen.</p><p>Speaking of which, who or what are you even jerking to? Let me come over and take a closer look... no, no switching to another window! Keep your hands on your cock, dude. If you're jerking off without a care in the world, it had at least better be to something that's good. And it's my job to make sure of it.</p><p>What's weird about that? I'm your best friend, I'm morally obligated to make sure you're not jerking off to sub-standard porn. It's like, you wouldn't let your friends eat crappy food or listen to lame music or watch Season 8 of Game of Thrones more than once, right? This is like that. Now shut up and let me have a look...</p><p>Huh, she's not bad. Pretty face, nice body. I'd give her... hmm, maybe a 7 out of 10. </p><p>Unfortunately, she's not actually here, so I'm taking away 1 point. And she's not ME, so I'm taking away 5 points. And she probably doesn't know you or care about you or like you, so I'm removing another 5 points. </p><p>Sorry my dude, but that means you've been jerking off to a NEGATIVE FOUR out of ten, and as your friend, that means I need to delete her off your hard drive for your own good and the good of your penis.</p><p>Hey, hey, hey! I said hands on your cock! I'm doing you a favor here, and if you can't appreciate that and keep getting in my way, I'll beat you harder than you were beating your dick a minute ago. </p><p>Now, as your best friend, I believe I'm morally obligated to hook you up with prime jerk-off material. Now, I'm here, so I'm automatically giving myself 1 point. I'm also me, so that's another 5 points. And... I know you and care about you and I really like you, so that's 5 points.</p><p>Congratulations, you can now jerk off to someone who is an 11 out of 10. AT  LEAST. Anyways, this is how you know you've made it in life.</p><p>What? Did I stutter? You can jerk off. Come on, your hands are already on your dick. Polish that lightsaber until you feel the Force flowing through you.</p><p>Do I have to say in a Yoda voice or something? Dude, is that the kind of weird nerdy crap that gets you hard?</p><p>What? Yeah, I said I like you. Dude, you're not old enough to be hard of hearing, don't make me repeat myself like I'm talking to some wrinkly old deaf guy.</p><p>Oh my gosh, you are really hung up on that part, aren't you? Look, we have been best friends for... I don't even know, a long time now? And I have liked you -- really liked you -- for almost as long.</p><p>And I have tried everything... </p><p>EVERYTHING!</p><p>...short of actually stripping naked and seducing you, to get you to realize that I like you. Romantically. </p><p>And it never works. I can't tell if you're just really dense, or you're intentionally trying to not think about it, but you never acknowledge it. </p><p>It wouldn't be so bad if you just told me you like someone else. Or, hell, just say you're not interested in me that way. If you just outright rejected me, I would be fine with it. But no. You just somehow... DON'T notice it.</p><p>Well, you know what? No longer. I'm here, your pants are down, your hands are on your dick, and I'm telling you I like you. If that's not enough to get it through your head that I want to be more than friends, well... I don't know what will.</p><p>If you don't like me back, then... I dunno, just tell me to go away or something and I'll leave you alone and we can pretend that this never happened. Or if you're really mad at me... if you don't want to talk to me anymore ever again, then that's fine too. </p><p>Life is short, and I'd rather tell you I like you and have you be upset at me for it, then to spend the rest of my life never saying it and wishing I had.</p><p>But if you do like me, then... I don't know, you can jerk off to me instead, I guess. Instead of some random girl on the Internet.</p><p>(awkward silence)</p><p>Dude. Dude, this is normally the part where you say something. Or jerk off. Don't just, like, stare at me like you went up on stage and are having public speaking anxiety.</p><p>......</p><p>...bruh. Performance anxiety? You're really having performance anxiety right now?</p><p>You know what, screw it. I'll do it for you. Hand me that bottle of lotion. DO IT.</p><p>Hands off your dick... oh my gosh, dude, either tell me to go away or let me stroke it. Watchig you have performance anxiety right after I tell you I like you is just sad. </p><p>(handjob sounds start)</p><p>There, that feels better, right? Think you can cum?</p><p>What am I saying, of course you'll cum. I'll make you cum with my hands even if I have to stroke you for hours like I've gone on a Wii Tennis marathon.</p><p>Damn, son, your balls feel so full. Have you been saving up? You weren't doing some weird "no fap" challenge before this, were you? Well, good for me if you did, that just means I'm gonna get a lot of cum out of you.</p><p>Now just relax. That's it. </p><p>Yeah, just lean back and let me take care of you, I'm gonna stroke it all out of you. Just let me do the work. I'll make you cum, baby. Your cock and your balls are in good hands... literally.</p><p>You're getting close already? Wow, dude, I've barely started. Were you jerking it a long time before I came in? </p><p>Seriously, it's like this is your first time getting stroked by someone else.</p><p>...wait, this is your first handjob? Seriously? You've never had a girl touch your dick before?</p><p>What, no, it's not something to be ashamed of, I mean... I feel weirdly special now, actually. But... damn, if I knew this was your first time, I would have tried to make it more special. Maybe have a candle-lit dinner, play some soft music. And after we'd had a few glasses of wine, I'd reach under the table, gently grab your cock, and sensually whisper "have you ever heard The Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?"</p><p>Yeah, I thought you'd like that nerdy stuff. Now relax. First handjob or not, I'm still your best friend. And I'm the girl who likes you the most in the whole world. So just relax, and cum for me when you're ready.</p><p>Come on, baby. I can feel your precum on my hands. It's alright, you can hold on to me. Are you close? You're moaning.</p><p>Uh-huh. I sense it too. You want to cum, don't you? You're going to cum for me. That's it, baby. Cum for me.</p><p>Where? Well, you don't have a towel, and I don't want you spraying it everywhere, so...</p><p>...I guess you'll just have to cum in my mouth.</p><p>You heard me. You're going to cum in my mouth, and I'm going to swallow it. I don't want you making a mess all over yourself or all over me, so... you're just going to make a mess down my throat instead.</p><p>What, you don't think I'll do it? Dude, please. I give great blowjobs and I ALWAYS swallow. You just worry about lasting long enough in my mouth to enjoy it. Because I think once my warm, wet mouth is on you and my lips are wrapped around the base of your cock, you won't last long before you just... pop.</p><p>You don't believe me? You underestimate my power. You'll believe me when you're moaning and whimpering and feeding me your cum. Which judging by how much your cock is twitching and leaking precum, should be really, really... soon.</p><p>(handjob sounds end, blowjob noises start -- I'd write way more dirty talk, but it's impolite to talk with your mouth full &gt;_&gt;)</p><p>You're cumming? That's it, baby. Just relax and let go. I'll swallow it all.</p><p>(swallowing sounds)</p><p>...told you. Also, you taste good. Have you been eating more fruits lately? </p><p>Uh-huh. I swallowed all your cum. I guess you could say your load is now... Qui-GONE. Also, your spunk was tasty. We're definitely going to do this more often. </p><p>Well, first you have to actually take me out on a date. A proper date.</p><p>Right now? Well, yeah, though maybe you should pull up your pants before you take me anywhere, dude.</p><p>...what?</p><p>You don't want me to call you "dude" anymore? But I've always called you dude-</p><p>Oh. "Baby?" You liked it when I called you "baby" earlier? Alright, fine, but uh...</p><p>...only if you call me "baby" too.</p>
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